Creating Abundance Takes Change

Any circumstance that causes unhappiness will require change if you desire a better life. That’s obvious or is it? If unhappiness were the only thing involved, then no one would diet more than once or quit smoking numerous times. A person would look in the mirror, assess that her assets are too big and that would be that. Hmmm…doesn’t usually work like that. So, what is the process that goes on that blocks us from reaching our desire and creating abundance?

In a single word,, Change! Resistance and change go hand in hand. Why is that? Could it be that we really are uninformed about what it will take to change? Fortunately, research has revealed new understandings about the change process.

The research started with Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who became aware that change occurs in stages. She was doing ground breaking work within the context of death and dying when she observed similarities in the responses of her patients after they had received terminal diagnoses. Dr. Kubler-Ross created a change model based on this information. It had five stages and was linear and somewhat rigid, characteristics she would later be called on.

Understand that no one else had published this kind of research. Once her change model was brought to the attention of her colleagues, shortcomings were  identified.

However, let’s start out with the five stages Dr. Kubler-Ross identified. They are Denial/Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Meaning/Acceptance. 

Instead of looking at specifics about how those 5 stages worked for her patients, let’s move on to other research and other change models. Significant differences between the old and new change models are new stage names, adding a sixth stage and the realization that the stages are very permeable. The new names are Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance and Termination/Re-entry.

In the context of death and dying, the outcome is recognized, but if we apply these new stages to another area of life such as dieting or quitting an addiction, now we have something to look at. In addition, we have an new light on the nuances of change.

Using the example of dieting is rather easy for us to grasp. We’ve all seen pictures of obese people and perhaps asked ourselves the question, “How did they get this way?” The easy answer, and it really isn’t easy, is that the person was in the first stage of denial/pre-contemplation. He is oblivious to his situation. Let me be blunt, he was not able to see his body realistically and realize a problem exists.

Once he wakes up to the situation, he enters the contemplation stage, which means there is awareness. With awareness he can now make a plan. With a plan, action can be taken which eventually leads to maintenance and lastly termination. The last stage has a double name. Not only is it termination, it is also re-entry because at times termination doesn’t stick. What if he couldn’t do the maintenance stage? Now he has reentered the process.

There are all kinds of possibilities. Maybe, the first obstacle was getting out of the contemplation stage and making the preparations. Now you’re beginning to see the nuances and how we, the universal we, often get tripped up.

The value of this research really is powerful on two fronts. First, we go into change armed with the information to decide what stage we’re in, if we’re honest, really honest with ourselves. Second, we do not have to beat ourselves up if we find ourselves going through the stages a numerous times.

The next time you undertake making a positive change, you will have an advantage! Relish the process.